Tuesday, February 3, 2009

old pro or old

well, suddenly *laughs* I feel old not "old pro" when it comes to raw. it is snowing , i'm snowed in. mybananas aren't ripe and i ate rice and teeny sliver (2 teeny teeny ones actually) of chocolate cake.

i had a teeny tiny bit of corn chips and salsa.

so anyway, my tummy is a different kind of full.

i was almost 100% on 811 just before that except hot tea really.

speaking of tea i think i'll make some.

as long as i stop at this point, that is, as long as i don't continue to put cooked food in my body, i should survive this fairly well. if i get on the elliptical then get a hot bath and a good nights rest i should be okay.

it's just that in the past if i fail and i don't feel and look as good as i wanted instantly i sometimes make it world worse by going on long runs. and i don't mean jogging or trips to the loo.

no, it's not what i want.

i want health and energy and happiness.

i want time with my family--not time sick because i've overeaten or made unwise food choices.

*tears*

i'm sick of it. really tired of yo yo. i want consistency. why were all i mean ALL the bananas dark green EVERYWHERE?

i need to understand that it's usually better to just skip a meal than to eat something my body doesn't need right now.

thanks for reading. i'll be okay.
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