Thursday, December 18, 2008

Middle of a Binge Run

Not a very glamorous title, I realize. And not good advertising. If that's what I was trying to do.

Good thing I really only began this rawprincess stuff for support for myself. And this is exactly why.

The binge. :-) (drum rolls)

Well, I don't have anything to sell. I don't have anything to gain by blogging about raw foods.

Except a believing circle of mirrors. Folks like you who believe I can be in recovery from food addiction, recovery from money drunk. People who, maybe a lot like me, want to end isolation and really say, "Yes! This is how things are for me right now."

*laughs*

I can't believe I'm writing this.

I could say it like this--I ate some junk food and now my tummy is very full. It feels very uncomfortable. LOL.

Oh god. I guess you had to be there.

Well, I could list all the current stressors and analyze when it began, where I first lost control and the run began. I could *takes deep breath* try and compare it to worse times in my life and say how at least I don't eat as much as I used to etc etc.

But the truth is I'm not in a good place.

Sooo.

*shrugs*

So what!

Right?

A lot of people aren't in a good place right now. What makes me think I matter or that a blog needs to happen due to account of me binge-ing.

Well, I pulled out the "Money Drunk" book. And I just realize reading it (and munching on unmentionables) I want to be on my true north path. But in the past, every time I focused and sought out "what is my true north path" I invariably ended up so heavily in ego that I went way far backwards rather than towards my true north.

So it (the raw foods and detox lifestyle) needs to be ego-free simple self-care in the midst of service and love for my family, self, planet, community. NOT "Gee, I can be so hot if I just eat raw foods." Ya know?

Prayer: "Dear God I am willing to relinquish my life of limitation and despair. I invite your spirit to renew my life. I claim my natural power to heal and to be healed. I am innocent beautiful and strong. I am cosmic and royal ... " --From A Woman's Worth by Marianne Williamson
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